How counseling works with me (it doesn’t look like this, but you’re totally welcome to lie down if it helps!)
You’ve reached out and we’ve scheduled our first appointment after your 15 minute consult. Awesome! Now what? 🤔
If you’ve been in therapy for depression, anxiety, trauma or addiction before, you might have a frame of reference for what to expect. But maybe that experience wasn’t so good - so you’re dreading starting all over with a new counselor and being vulnerable again. Or maybe your past counselor was great! That’s awesome - but you worry that we won’t be able to capture that same ✨magic vibe✨.
I get it - because I’ve been (and still am!) a client of therapy myself. I’ve had shitty counselors and amazing counselors and some in-between. My current therapist is bomb-ass; she is truly the most helpful person I’ve ever worked with. 🥇 And even then, our counseling styles differ a bit.
Now it’s time for that first appointment. Virtual and in-person counseling services in my Phoenix-based office differ somewhat, which I’ll cover in another post. But in either setting, that first appointment can be daunting. 😨 Luckily I will have already reviewed your new client counseling intake form and have a general idea of why you’re here. Still, I’ll ask you to tell me more, or maybe to clarify things from your intake form. Questions like why are you seeking counseling services now? and who do you connect with most in your life? are ones I always ask in the beginning. And, of course, tell me your number one goal for counseling services. I want to know what is most important to you. This is your time, after all!
Everything I do in my work is intentional, mindful, and congruent to who I am. This ranges from how I present myself to how my counseling office is arranged and even how I sit in my therapist chair! I cuss, like, a LOT (not in an aggressive way, it’s just how I talk 🤷🏻). That’s on purpose. Clients know up front that I am a counselor with ADHD, 🧠 and that I use fidgets to manage my energy and attention during sessions (as in all of life). If you’re seeing me in person, I’ve got you covered, from fidgets you can use (some you can keep!) to snacks to coffee, to comfy pillows and blankets that are washed between sessions (I have enough for everyone).
Bottom line, I believe in showing up authentically, intentionally and fearlessly. 🦸🏻 This is what I want for my clients, and I am passionate about walking the walk. My style isn’t for everyone - that’s okay! If you’re feeling like it’s not a good fit, it won’t hurt my feelings to tell me. (In fact, it’s a great place to practice assertive communication skills!) We can talk about ways to make sure your needs are getting met and how I can help you feel safe to express them. Or maybe we find that you’d feel better served with another provider - that’s totally fine too (I can make referrals to some awesome therapists in the area). My priorities are that you feel safe, heard and understood, and I will do whatever I can to make it happen.
Okay, but what’s your style of counseling, your treatment approach, you might be wondering. My work is based in the Person-Centered Counseling model developed by Carl Rogers, one of my all-time counseling nerd-heroes. This means I will always listen without judgment, I will always believe you when you tell me your lived experience, and I will always be on your side - even if everyone else the world thinks you’re wrong. But what if someone is totally bullshitting you, you might wonder. Sure I’ve been there. 💩 But behind every bullshitter is a motive. Behind every “mistake” you’ve made, there’s an unmet need. A disconnect. Maybe our work will be about figuring out why you need to bullshit in the first place (spoiler alert: it’s about fear).
So Person-Centered Counseling is my foundation. But what about specific interventions? What will we actually do in a session? Narrative Therapy is my go-to. Let’s talk about the problems happening in your day to day life, and we’ll find some themes or patterns. Then let’s explore the roots 🌳 to a larger story - a narrative - that you might hold about yourself without even realizing it. Let’s find words for that. Let’s figure out how and when that story got told to you and internalized. And then we’ll reconnect with your younger Self to find your inner knowing - what was true for you before that story ever even took hold. Some of this is conversational, some of this is structured in-session exercises. Sometimes I use art therapy 🎨 to bring out deeper themes or things that are hard to put into words.
This is where I see magic 🪄 happen in counseling. This is when people start to change the way they live their lives. This is you, you badass - your bravery, your survival skills, your willingness to take on those shitty narratives that have kept you stuck (through no fault of your own). This process looks different for everyone, and there’s no set timeframe or number of sessions - so much depends on how you’re doing at the beginning of therapy, how long it takes to build trust and what else is happening in your life. It’s fucking hard sometimes, but it’s also fucking amazing. 💗
But what about, like, practical coping skills in the meantime? 📓 I’ve got you covered. I love the mindfulness and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) models, where the goal isn’t necessarily to make feelings go away, but to make them bearable - tolerable - workable.To turn them into learning opportunities. Eventually distress becomes, well, less distressing. 😓 DBT was the very first clinical intervention I was ever trained in as a behavioral health tech in a residential treatment setting and it’s just as relevant in outpatient counseling. While it isn’t the foundation of my overall approach, its wisdom is valuable and its practical coping skills are simple and effective.
I’ll end our sessions with some things to think about or notice between now and next time. I’ll ask how you can be gentle with yourself during that time and what your self-care strategies will be. I’m not a homework-y therapist, ✍️ but some clients request it and I do have therapy exercises available to supplement our in-session work.
I hope this is helpful! Know that I am genuinely excited about joining you on your path toward healing. Know that I’m gentle, but I will never bullshit you. 💯 I believe in you and your strength and vulnerability, and I cannot fucking wait to see how far you’ll go. Let’s get this shit going! 😎 🚘